The Wolverine Werewolf
by Starkreactor
Summary: Logan gets drafted into trick-or-treating duty Halloween night, but it doesn't turn out like he would like! This has turned into my own little archive of short mess with Wolverine stories- enjoy!
1. Happy early Halloween!

This is a short Halloween story that I wrote for another site and decided to post here! I know it is a bit early, but the stores are decorating, so why can't I? lol. Anyway, this is sort of a one shot, but I am thinking about writing a sequel or two. We will just have to see what happens with the plot bunnies. Wolverine is not mine-(though he should be, I would have to be his biggest fan ever. You want to debate that let me know. lol) This is in the movie-verse, and although there is some tenderness between Logan and Rogue, I like them better as more of a father/daughter relationship. Sorry to the romance fans! (ducks a piece of random flying fruit) Oh, before I get mobbed by the angry Rogan fans, Josh is my invention- the rest are not. (grumbles, looks around at the mob and runs)

Logan woke one afternoon, late after coming home from a mission at five in the morning. He had slept almost all day, and was therefore slightly disgruntled when he woke up at six in the evening. Man did his healing ability take a lot out of him! He stretched, the evening light slipping through the window by his bed, the curtains only partially open. A cool breeze laden with fall scents blew under his closed door, and there was a general scuffing and excitement coming from downstairs. He blinked, trying to orient himself. Doesn't matter how many animal-like powers you have- sleeping all day will screw you up.

He slipped out from under the covers, throwing on his usual jeans and tank top, and heading downstairs. He passed several students on the way, the girls traveling in packs of friends and chatting excitedly. What was all the commotion? He wondered. Sure, a school full of empowered teens was hectic at all hours, but this was above normal. Decorations like pumpkins and leaves were everywhere, and some of the kids had decorated their dorm rooms with a giant cobweb or some other Halloween décor.

Downstairs, Logan ran into Jean, who was carrying an armload of what looked like laundry.

"Oh, Logan, you're awake! Good, we were beginning to think you were going to miss out."

Logan blinked blearily, trying to understand what she was talking about.

"Miss out on-" She grinned at him, obviously amused that the ever attentive Wolverine was having trouble getting his bearings.

"Halloween. It's tonight!"

Logan now realized that the pile of cloth Jean was holding was actually a pile of costumes, a gown, ghost sheet, skeleton suit, and a rather strange looking werewolf outfit. Logan shuffled his feet, hands in his pockets, looking for a good response.

"Right, I knew that."

Jean grinned.

"Why don't you go have some coffee and something to eat, then you'll feel better. I have to get these to their respective owners."

Logan nodded and headed for the kitchen, one word on his mind since the other was not allowed, coffee. Maybe he could slip away for a beer while the kids were trick-or-treating.

On his way to the kitchen he passed several more excited students, some wearing costumes, others carving jack-o-lanterns on the back porch. He spotted one that had a werewolf carved into it's surface, that, suspiciously, had three claw marks as part of the design.

A few hours later, when everything was dark outside, Logan grabbed his jacket, attempting to avoid trick-or-treating duty on his way to the garage for his bike. He was almost there when Zing, the school's black cat ran in front of him, causing him to pause long enough for Jean to grab his collar.

"Oh no you don't." She sang, grinning. "You're not getting out of it that easy."

Logan glared at the cat, who merely blinked it's green eyes up at him. "Thanks for that, thanks a lot Zing." Zing gave a non committal meow and rubbed against Logan's legs.

Logan had been put in charge of a group of teens that thankfully Rogue was a part of. There were four other kids besides her, Bobby, John, Kitty, and Jubilee. Rogue was wearing a vampire gown, while Bobby accompanied her as the Count. John was dressed like some sort of devil, and Jubilee was bouncing around in a colorful fairy costume. Kitty, not surprisingly, was painted white and wearing a tattered white gown; a ghost. The Wolverine wore an expression fierce enough to make the mummy run screaming back into his crypt.

The first few houses weren't bad, until people began guessing what Logan was supposed to be. This prompted many giggles from the girls, and sniggers from the boys, who thought it immensely funny that people thought Wolverine was a costume. Logan endured for a while, just ignoring the remarks while Rogue and Jubilee teased him by telling one person he was a werewolf, another that he was a hairy Frankenstein. By the time they reached the tenth house, Logan's claws were itching like mad, and if one more person asked him what he was-

"Dude, nice makeup, so, like, what are you?"

Logan let out a low growl at the lanky teen who was looking him up and down. The kid was covered in leather and spikes and wearing vampire teeth. Logan finally let his claws slip, just fast enough for the kid to see them, but not too well.

"DUDE!! That was sweet! Where'd you get that, like eBay?? How's it work?!"

That was not the reaction that Logan had been expecting. Before Logan could begin to say anything, the teen started talking again.

"Hey! You'd make a great addition to our haunted house, it's opening at midnight and we're looking for volunteers! If you finish your trick or treating you can come back then and help if you want! It's right in my house there!"

He pointed to the house behind him that was covered in orange and purple lights, cobwebs, and window stick-ons. Fake tomb stones sprouted from the lawn, and people in elaborate costumes were standing around chatting and startling anyone who got near.

"You can scare the crap out of people, and afterward you can stay for the party! It's for all the volunteers and we'll have pizza and beer! You really should come dude."

Logan stared, completely caught off guard. Rogue filled in for him. "We'll be there! Can our whole troop help?" She asked.

The boy looked them over and grinned. "That'd be great! Sure."

"K, we'll see y'all after we're done then!" Logan opened his mouth to protest, but Rogue grabbed his sleeve, dragging him to the next house. He barely heard Jubilee cheerily announce "Trick-or-treat!" at the door.

At a quarter to midnight Rogue pulled out her cell, letting Jean and the professor know what was going on and getting their consent, as long as Logan was with them.

"No way, huh uh!" Logan said loudly as all five kids pushed and pulled him towards the house.

"Aww, come on Logan! It'll be fun!"

Logan shook his head. "I don't do haunted houses. A bar is my idea of fun."

Jubilee bounced into his line of vision. "There's beer afterwards!" She coaxed.

Logan shook his head fervently. "No way. I can get all the beer I want right now if you guys just go home."

"Oops." Jubilee apologized flippantly as she exploded a blinding flash of light right in front of Logan's sensitive eyes. He let out a growling roar and covered his eyes, temporarily blinded. When the offended members of his body recovered, they were in the driveway of the house, the teen that had talked to them earlier running out to meet them.

"Dude! So glad you could make it! I have a perfect place for each of you."

He led them into the house, which was decorated from ceiling to floor to scare. "I'm Josh by the way."

"Ahm Rogue, this is Bobby, John, Kitty, Jubilee, and Logan."

"Dude, cool to meet you all. So, like, the house is open till one, then we have pizza and stuff ordered. For now I'll show you where you each should go."

Logan looked livid as they were led around the house, different kids getting put in differently themed rooms, depending on what they were dressed as. Logan, not surprisingly, got stuck with the werewolves. Despite Logan's lack of costume, the growl building in him would surely put the rest of the wolves to shame.

Guests started trickling in right at the stroke of midnight, and Jubilee came leading the first group in as her costume was not that menacing. Logan self-consciously tried to blend in with the crowd of fur he had been stuck in, but that soon proved to be impossible.

So he played along.

He spotted a kid looking bored, staring down sleepily at the werewolf growling to his left while his girlfriend clutched his arm, squealing with gleeful fright. A dangerous grin spread across Logan's face, and he crouched, his claws ready and tense. Just as the kid walked towards him, he let out a primal howl, followed by a roar as he flashed his claws towards the unsuspecting pair. The formerly bored teen let out a yelp and bolted, leaving his girlfriend to scream in the moment then burst out in hysterical giggles. Logan was rolling with laughter on the inside, and spent the rest of the hour doing the same to other "macho" kids who strutted around like they owned the place. By the end of the evening he was idolized by the "pack", and almost wished that the house wasn't closing.

"Dude! You were freaking amazing! Nice job!! Maybe, you could like, join us next year!" Josh shouted excitedly as he ran up to Logan.

The Wolverine couldn't help but grin at the idea as he followed Josh into the kitchen where black lights and lit jack-o-lanterns illuminated a well stocked food bar and cooler of beer. Logan made a bee line for the beer, and while he was enjoying the first bottle, Rogue came up to him, grinning while Bobby stuffed his face with chips and dip.

"So, do y'a still want to kill us all?"

Logan made a playful swipe at her with half extended claws before snapping them back in. "Na, just don't tell Scott."

Rogue grinned. "Maybe next year too?" She asked playfully.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Don't push your luck kid." He glanced up. "I do think we'll be seeing Josh around though."

Rogue followed his gaze to see Josh and Kitty chatting it up while sipping on some soda. She giggled. "Then I guess you will just have to join in next year too."

Logan gave her a playful growl. "I don't _have_to do anything, darlin." She grinned at him but let the subject drop, bouncing over to join Bobby at the food bar. Logan sighed contentedly and drank his beer. Maybe Halloween wasn't so bad after all.


	2. Logan is drafted to a new assignment!

Hello people!! (waves happily) I am back for putting Logan in more uncomfortable situations!! (Jumps up and down) So, I am hyper tonight, and wrote this like five seconds ago. This is not exactly a continuation of my Wolverine Werewolf story, but it could be in the same universe. For everyone's information, I write in the movie-verse unless otherwise specified, Jean is not dead and is married to Scott, and Rogue never got the cure. OK! Enjoy the following torture of our favorite mutant!!

* * *

"Ahm." Logan cleared his throat, trying to get the attention of a room full of teenagers.

"AAhhhmem!!" He tried again.

The loud chatter, gossip, and general lawlessness continued. Logan was getting severely annoyed.

"OK SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!!" He roared.

The room suddenly went silent and the young mutants took their assigned seats. Logan sat down behind what was usually Ororo's desk. The room was well lit and most of the walls had huge windows. Many corners held exotic plants, and the morning sun streamed through beautifully. Crystals and prisms hung from the ceiling, catching the glow and throwing it in every direction like shards of light.

And the Wolverine was playing substitute teacher. Substitute _art_ teacher no less.

The moment the Professor had requested Logan fill Ororo's shoes, Logan knew he had tempted fate by sarcastically saying that he was an art professor almost two years ago at the Drake's house. Darn fate.

Once the class had settled in, Logan looked down at the extremely clean wooden surface before him. Too clean. There was no lesson plan. Logan started sifting through equally clean drawers, then looked up at the class. "Did Ororo leave you guys a lesson? " He asked hopefully.

There was a unanimous shaking of heads around the room. Logan put his head in his hands. What had he gotten in to?

A second later, he heard whispering and giggles coming from one side of the room and he looked up just in time to see Jubilee toss a ball of light halfway across the room. Before Logan could even say anything, the kid it landed on suddenly and quite instinctively turned to molten rock, and began incinerating everything he touched.

The girls close to him screamed, and one teleported to the other side of the room; while the other suddenly feinted and turned to diamond. Logan jumped to his feet, petrified for a moment before making a break to get everything possible out of the way of mister lava. The boy had realized that it was Jubilee who had startled him, and was now going after her, instead of getting himself under control.

Bobby happened to be passing the room as all of this happened, and Logan shouted to get his attention. "BOBBY! I COULD USE A LITTLE ICE RIGHT NOW! MAYBE A GLACIER!!" Logan finished his plea just as he grabbed a new student out of the way that had turned to a statue of wood. Bobby whirled around to see the fiery chaos and quickly threw his hands out in front of him, hurling enough ice to cool Hawaii. Everything froze, and Logan promptly slipped and shattered several now brittle vases as he slid across the floor, still holding the wooden statue who had just now turned back to human.

Once he had stopped sliding, Logan opened his eyes to survey the damage, shaking his head to throw bits of ice and pottery out of his hair. There entire floor was covered with a layer of ice, every plant that had not been incinerated was frostbitten, students were everywhere, four desks were partially burned, one incinerated completely, and there were the remains of four huge ceramic and clay vases all over the place. Logan flopped from his current sitting position flat on his back, but quickly recoiled and flipped over when he felt a sharp pain. He tried to twist around and survey the damage, when a girl standing close to him suddenly turned white and feinted across him. Logan winced as the weight hit him and drove whatever was in him further.

Bobby ran as carefully as possible across to where Logan and the girl was, and picked her small frame up, handing her to Peter who had just stopped in to help. As soon as the girl was taken care of, Logan painfully twisted around to look at his back. A huge shard of pottery stuck jaggedly out of the center, just in the place that was near impossible to reach. Logan sighed deeply, the motion making him sick. Just his luck.

Bobby made a grimace. "Ouch." Logan glared at him.

."Right. Sit up and hold still."

Logan obeyed, biting his lip while Bobby pulled out a piece of ceramic at least six inches long. As soon as the offending object was removed, Logan let out the breath he was holding, panting raggedly as the wound healed.

"Bet you're glad for your mutation now, huh?" Bobby asked, trying to de-fuse the obviously furious Wolverine.

Logan only growled, standing and striding over to Jubilee. She squeaked and skittered over to one side of the room, quickly finding herself in a corner. Logan filled in that corner, and stared down at her menacingly.

"Oops?" She asked hopefully.

Logan gave a very low, very dangerous growl. "Ok kid. You teach the class." He breathed, his face close to hers.

She looked at him, a rather insane looking grin spreading across her face.

"The way I tell you to." He finished darkly.

Jubilee's face fell.

"You can start by clearing your work area." He said, still rather menacingly, gesturing towards the destroyed class room. Jubilee gulped, inching out of one side of the corner and past him before racing to the broom closet. Logan turned around to find everyone pretending to mind their own business. "The sooner this is cleaned up the sooner I get agreeable, got it!?" He announced. All the students nodded and rushed to help Jubilee.

Logan spent the next half hour watching the kids with eyes that never blinked. They worked as if the devil was after them, and soon had the room cleaned up, the damaged desks removed, the plants thawed out, and the water and pottery cleaned up. Once this was all done, each student promptly sat in their assigned seats, and directed their attention to Logan.

Logan hid his satisfied smile and pulled his feet from the resting position they had been in on the desk. "All right Miss Lee. What is your plan?" He asked, leaning forward and staring at Jubilee, who shrank in her seat.

"Um, finger painting?" She asked timidly.

For the remainder of the period, all the students followed Jubilee's lead, doing whatever project she came up with. At first she seemed scared that Logan would pounce on her any moment, but he just sat there, observing the class. Soon she forgot that he was there and was sad when it was time to clean up and go. Once the last student cleared out, Logan sat back and heaved a huge sigh, rubbing his eyes with his fingers, bracing himself for second period…….

"Don't touch me Jake!"

"And then I froze the dude's toilet seat.."

"So I got this assignment last night…"

"Warren, MOVE YOUR WINGS!!"

Logan didn't even look up.


	3. Thanksgiving in Westchester

Hello people!!! *waves again* Here is another one of my 'mess with Logan' series, which, admittedly, I love writing. I know it is no where near Thanksgiving, but it was when I started writing it, and I really want to post it anyway. This is a 'sequel' to my Wolverine Werewolf story, so there is more of Josh in this one. Hope you enjoy, and happy hunting!

P.S. I know NOTHING of hunting or guns, so this will not be real accurate sorrry!

* * *

Logan was laying on his back, eyes closed, in the center of a clearing in the woods of Xavier's school. It was a particularly mild day in late November, and smells of baking pumpkin, cherry, and apple pie drifted from the schools kitchens. The students were off for thanksgiving brake, and many had gone home for the holiday. Those that hadn't kept themselves busy with baking, decorations, or a general exploration of the outdoors. Even with the diminished student body, Logan relished getting away from the chaos.

"Hi Logan!"

He gave an inward groan and opened one eye, looking up to see Josh and Kitty.

"What ya doin?" Kitty asked brightly, her long brown ponytail tossing when she cocked her head.

"Sleepin." Logan replied tersely, closing his eye.

"Why?" She asked, not letting him off that easily.

"Because I'm tired."

"I think you need something to do."

"I think I'm already doin plenty."

"I think you should go get us the turkey for Thursday."

"I think you are the girl and you should go do the shoppin thing."

Kitty giggled. Logan opened an eye again and peeked at her. "What's so funny?"

"Josh, Bobby, and Scott are going to go hunt a few turkeys. For Thanksgiving. They figured that you would be good for tracking."

Josh nodded enthusiastically. Logan looked skeptically at Josh's leather clad frame. "You ever gone hunting before?"

Josh shook his head. "That's why I figured I would go with the guys! Never too late to learn."

Logan smiled. He had no idea.

"When are they leaving?"

"So you'll go?!" Kitty and Josh said together.

"No. I want to know when I won't have to see them around for a while."

Kitty huffed angrily, and turned quickly on her heel, Josh hurrying behind her. Logan smiled and settled back into the grass.

5:00 AM Friday

"You really think that you are going to survive in the 'wilderness' and hunt a turkey for three days when you can't even wake up enough to tell me what to pack?" Logan smirked, wide awake and laughing at Scott, who was currently stumbling around the kitchen, trying to pour himself a cup of extra-strong coffee.

Scott gave him a sort-of glare before yawning loudly. Logan gave a laugh and strode out of the room, throwing a few clean pairs of clothes and his lighter in his backpack.

6:00 AM Friday

"You ladies done packing yet?!" Logan yelled from the living room couch.

"Almost Logan!" Came the exasperated reply from Scott, the same one Logan had been hearing for the last half hour.

Logan rolled his eyes and sipped on a beer that he had run to get for the trip almost forty-five minutes ago. He had finally gotten bored and decided that it was never to early for a beer.

7:15 AM Friday

Logan was sure his eyes were going to roll out of his skull if he rolled them out of disgust one more time. Scott, Bobby, and Josh were finally ready to go, packing the car with a cooler full of hamburgers, pop, grilling materials, and other assorted junk foods. They also had packed four sleeping bags, a tent, a fold up grill, an emergency kit, four guns, and equipment to pluck and clean the turkey. Logan didn't want to know what Scott had packed in the giant duffel he had almost staggered under. _Rogue had less when I first met her!_ Logan marveled.

By 7:30 they were on the road, and Logan took first driving shift as Scott and the rest were the equivalent of zombies at the moment. It took them until noon to reach the hunting site, and Logan had driven the entire way. Nobody had complained while on the trip, but Scott and Josh had promptly run behind trees as soon as they reached the camp site.

Logan chuckled as he and Bobby set up the tent. Once everything was in order they had lunch, and after that they spent time getting ready for the hunt. Logan gave Josh a run down in gun handling, and Scott showed Bobby. They practiced a few shots, and Logan was surprised at how well Josh was catching on.

They went to bed at 9:00, Logan preferring to stay outside and sleep by the fire.

5:00 AM Saturday

Logan cooked breakfast early and got Josh and the rest up once it was done. They seemed to be less zombie like that morning, and it took them less than an hour to eat and get their hunting gear together. A world record. Logan sighed as Scott fumbled with his gun.

"Forgot how to use it already?"

Scott's head snapped up indignantly. "No, somebody messed it up."

Logan rolled his eyes and strode into the hunting area, his gun slung across his back. He wasn't really planning on using it. He sniffed, morning smells pleasing his senses. He caught a whiff of a turkey off to the right, and he followed the scent, motioning the others to follow. They did, and surprising to Logan, Josh was the quietest of them all. Maybe the kid would be good at this.

They came up on a clearing, where two small turkeys and a large Tom were pecking around. Logan motioned Scott and Bobby to stand on either side of him, and directed Josh towards the Tom.

"Go for the head, like we said, then the rest will be nice and clean for eating." He whispered, guiding Josh's hands as he aimed. From the sides Scott and Bobby held their guns ready, aiming at the hens. If they could bag these three they would have more than enough.

Why did Logan always assume things would be that easy?

Just as Scott went to shoot, Bobby stepped on a branch, snapping it loudly. The turkeys looked up, scattering in a feathered frenzy, tripping over each other as they tried to get away. Bobby, unfortunately, didn't realize that now would be a bad time to shoot, and shot three frantic shots off in an attempt to hit his target. Amazingly, one of the hens fell dead, but the other two bullets ricocheted off of a nearby tree and headed straight in Josh's direction. Logan noticed, and at the last second jumped in front of him, bracing to take the hit.

But nothing happened. Logan opened his eyes to see the bullets hanging in mid-air in front of him, Josh standing shocked behind him, both hands held out. After a moment, he let his hands fall, and so did the bullets.

Logan turned around to look at the stunned teenager. "Nice one Josh, but I'm guessing you didn't realize that you were a mutant?"

Josh shook his head numbly. "I-I- I stopped the-the bullet…." He stammered, still staring.

"Yea, you did, thanks. It sucks to get shot." Logan said, trying to get Josh to calm down. He was getting slightly worried.

"I- I really am a mutant." He whispered, looking at his hands.

Logan stepped forward cautiously, not sure of what Josh was going to do. He couldn't remember what it was like to learn of your powers for the first time, but he was sure it was upsetting. He put a hand on Josh's shoulder. "We'll help you break it to your parents if you want to tell them." He said quietly. Scott and Bobby had joined him, nodding in agreement.

Josh looked up grinning. "Are you kidding!? This is GREAT!!!! Kitty will be so thrilled! I'M A MUTANT!!!!" He shouted, whooping as he jumped into the air.

Logan was completely taken aback. "Well……uh, I'm glad you're so thrilled. We'll continue with the hunt now I guess…….."

Josh nodded enthusiastically. "Yea! Let's go! And Logan, next time somebody misses, don't try and block me! I want to do that again!!"

"There had better not be a next time." Logan growled, glaring meaningfully in Bobby's direction. Bobby gave him a nervous grin and picked up the hen he had gotten.

"Shall we?"

The next day………

"Well that went well." Josh said happily, proudly wrapping up his kill. It was an even bigger tom than the one they had first spotted, and he had cleaned it all himself. Logan had bagged another tom, much smaller, but still decent. At least it didn't have three bullets still in it. Like Scotts'.

Reliving for Logan, but disappointing for Josh, there were no more accidents, but that didn't mean that everyone went home 'unscathed'. Scott had been attacked by a turkey, and in trying to either blast it with his eyes or run away, had hit a tree and given himself a concussion. Logan had been whacked numerous times in the head by Bobby's gun, and Bobby had run into a blackberry patch.

All in all, they had had a blast.

Upon returning to the mansion, they were greeted by a welcoming party of women, Kitty rushing out to give Josh a big kiss, Jean welcoming Scott, and Rogue out to see Logan and Bobby both. Afterwards, Jean and Scott took the turkeys into the kitchen, packing them away until Thanksgiving day.

Thanksgiving Day……

Logan came downstairs to the wonderful smell of turkey floating through the house, mingled with cranberries and mashed potatoes. He wandered into the kitchen where Jean, Ororo, Rogue, Kitty, Kurt, Scott, and the Professor were cooking. Pumpkin pies were sitting in a row, fresh out of the oven, and three more apple pies were baking. Bowls of cranberry salad and sauce sat ready to go on the table, and the turkeys were just finishing up, already a lovely golden brown. Logan stood in the doorway, breathing in the scent as deeply as he could. He loved Thanksgiving dinner.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and he turned to get it, Kitty looking up and blowing through him to get there first. Logan laughed as she flew right through the door to launch onto her boyfriend, knocking him into his parents. He opened the door to let them in.

"Glad you could make it. We're just finishing up the cooking." Logan greeted, holding the door for them. Josh's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Tanner, had taken the news of their son's abilities quite well, and were now good friends with everyone at Xavier's school. They had even warmed well to Logan.

"Thank you for inviting us!" Molly, or Mrs. Tanner said, handing Logan a bowl of squash. "Wow, everything looks and smells lovely." She complimented, looking around at the school's decorations.

"Why don't you come in the kitchen, that's where everyone else is." Logan called over his shoulder as he headed in that direction to drop the squash off. The Tanners followed, talking to Kitty now as she cuddled up to Josh.

"Logan, will you do the honors for the other turkeys?" Xavier asked, motioning towards where Logan sat at the huge oak table that everyone was crowded around. He had just finished the prayer and had carved the biggest turkey in the center; the one Josh had gotten.

"Ok, but we're doin it my way this year."

Xavier sighed, smiling. "Very well Logan. But only this time."

Logan grinned, snicting out a claw to cut the turkey in front of him.

Soon the feast was well underway, everyone talking, laughing, complementing, and reminiscing. Logan was happily gorging himself on turkey and ham, observing the rest of the table with a quiet satisfaction. This was one strange family, but how could he ever belong to a 'normal' one? He was with the best people in the world, and that was something to be thankful for.


	4. Terror in the Halls

Hey guys!! I wrote this on a whim today as a 'flash fiction' challenge for another site and thought what the heck, I'll post it here as well. Especially since it fits into my 'mess with Logan' series. A few things I would like to say- 1, the actions in this fic are not ment to be 'cruelty to animals' they are ment to be comical. If I offend anyone by this fic, I am really sorry, but I don't mean any harm to anyone. 2, well. I'll talk to you after the fic. Enjoy!!

* * *

Wolverine was on the hunt. Senses were alert, muscles tense, his movements silent.

Turning a corner, he swept the higher ledges and curtains in the school hall with a piercing gaze, sniffing the air as he did so. There- at the end of the passage, a pair of gold eyes, atop one of the professor's most prized vases.

"Oh no you don't…." Logan snarled under his breath, sensing malicious intent from the being in the shadows.

Moving forward, he knew the thing was watching him, ready to leap at any moment, smashing the vase to bits all over the hardwood floor.

Golden eyes followed his progress, the creature's head cocked down imperiously, talons resting like rows of needles along the edge of the vase. Logan locked it in a stare down as he moved closer.

It was in this manor that he made it within two feet of his intended target before disaster struck. With little warning at all, the fiend was off like a flash, the vase teetering almost in slow motion on the edge.

Torn between grabbing the escapee and rescuing the treasure, Logan darted one way and then the other, slipping on the woven rug as he leaned over to grab the vase, catching it with one hand but crashing to the ground himself in the motion.

Sitting halfway up, Logan glared at the creature still above him. He had moved to the nearby curtain rod, and had resumed his favorite pastime of gazing over the mansion like he was king of the world.

Putting the vase down carefully, Logan slowly got to his feet, staying crouched as he moved.

He was fully prepared to spring when the creature took off again. Moving fast, he leapt and grabbed frantically for the thing's tail, catching the end of it just in time. His victory, however, was short lived as the wiry creature began flailing in all directions, razor sharp talons cutting Logan's hands and arms. Yelping with surprise, he got his hand around the devil's torso, only to be greeted by a wide open mouth and a painful bite into the fleshy part of his hand. Cursing under his breath, he held the mini monster fast, careful not to hurt it, but also careful not to let it go again. His reign of terror was ending **now**.

It was another ten minutes before Logan could wrestle the school's iguana into his cage, the bright green lizard finally settling onto his favorite log to sunbathe and glare at Logan for capturing him. Logan glared back before cursing the monstrosity in every language he could think of, and sliding down to sit on the floor in front of the 100 gallon tank, favoring his right hand as it healed.

"Knew we were askin for trouble when we named that thing Imhotep." He muttered, remembering the kid's enthusiasm after seeing _The Mummy_ for the first time. The exact same night they'd all decided that a 'family pet' was a good idea_._

* * *

In case anyone was wondering, yes. Imhotep exists. He is my own little bundle of terror, and is a 2 year old Iguana. I love him to death, but he can be really nasty sometimes, and a PAIN to catch. When I saw a flash fiction contest, I just had to put my baby dragon and my favorite mutant in the same story, however breif.

Review will be loved by me and stared imperiously at by Imhotep.


End file.
